1. Twist: Japanese underground music has been hailed as creative genius due to the sheer insanity of the showmanship, but when you light yourself on fire just to please the audience, you can only claim that as stupidity.
2. Contrast and compare/ Rhetorical Question: Music used to be purely classical and evolved into something even better, but in this decade, will Japanese underground groups change music for the worse?
3. Startling statement: Across the world away, people are lighting themselves on fire, but not in demonstration. They do it for the entertainment of the audience and to make a name for themselves as an authentic Japanese underground band.
-3minuteman (Chris)
I thought the third statement was most compelling. I would want to read more about this Japanese underground band lighting themselves on fire.
ReplyDeleteKathy H.
The first lead is interesting, especially the part about lighting balls on fire. That would definitely make me want to keep on reading, however the way it is worded I think it seems a little awkward. maybe split it into two different sentences.
ReplyDeleteJR
The first lead definitely had an interesting factor to it. The part about lighting balls on fire makes me want to keep reading.
ReplyDeleteI like your third lead, but I think you should flesh it out a bit and make it more descriptive, like you're actually there.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... I think the first lead is the most interesting (and colorful!) but you'll have to change the wording just a bit to make it more school-appropriate. Also, I think splitting it into two sentences as ATX Sports suggested, is a good idea and will improve the flow. Oh, and if you can avoid using the word "genius" twice in a row, that will also help.
ReplyDelete