Feature Leads:
He zipped his suitcase and stepped back. After a few seconds of scrutinizing the few belongings in front of him, he grabbed as much as he could carry and headed for the door. It had been 40 years since Forrest Novy had first traveled to Brazil, and __________ had driven him back.
Forrest Novy had graduated his high school military academy a private, the lowest rank . It was either go to Vietnam and join the army, or serve in a different way. He knew he was not good soldior material, so he decided to travel to Brazil and join the peace corps.
I like the first lead. It's intriguing and makes you feel like you're there. I'd work with the second sentence, though, because it's a little awkwardly worded.
ReplyDeleteI'd go with the first one. It arouses the reader's interest and flows well.
ReplyDelete-Banquo
I don't really know what the blank in the first one is for, but otherwise I like that one better. (Tell me if I'm missing something)
ReplyDelete-Felix
I prefer the second. It brings up the situation that began everything for this person's story.
ReplyDeleteForrest.....hehehehe
ReplyDelete